How to Walk Beside your Facade - with Kiara Harris
When we were young, we would dream of becoming an Astronaut, a Veterinarian, a Chef, a Professional Athlete or in my case a Pop Star or a Fairy. We chose careers with a purpose. Now, all we want, is to be seen. All we are hungry for is... Fame. It is ok to want to be noticed, but what happens when it dictates our life and becomes all we know and care about? Our constant thirst for self justification, simply means we are at risk of losing ourselves completely...
‘We put our best face forward,’ producer, podcast host and Shark Tank Associate Producer, Kiara Harris, tells me. She moved to Los Angeles two years ago and during this time witnessed one of her friends who gave up, left the City of Angles and went home. The incident spurred Kiara into creating a podcast which she named, ‘The Facade Project’ in hopes of digging deeper and revealing the true gems of a person behind their decorative Instagram or Facebook feed and their reason for their journey.
Diving through the window heading straight for the heart.
Kiara began her Podcast six months ago and tells me, ‘We post our highlight reels online but it’s not a true reflection of what we’re going through.'
I related to this statement all too well. I recall a year and a half ago when the worst happened to me. I was forced to put out my EP, ‘The African Bee’ forced to promote it on social media when I felt not one ounce of happiness in my body. I pretended to be ok and excited by posting false pictures of my emotions in order to promote my music when my mouth no longer wanted to speak, let alone sing.
Fast forward to today and I am grateful I was encouraged to do the thing I love most as I am not sure I would still be in the music industry without that push.
But not every case is like mine.
From her radio and television background to her current project, Kiara has been able to find her calling and every day fulfillment or how she describes it as, "Walking in her Purpose."
She is drawn to speaking in front of people and always loved assisting college students discover their major. 'The Facade Project' is about sharing the journey,' she says. 'People on their way up to their own level of success, because those are the people who want to share and motivate others.'
We are a generation starving to be noticed, to stand out, to appear 'prettier, skinner and more talented' than the next person.
In my personal experience, I was not nervous moving country to country from South Africa to the United States, however, I was extremely nervous moving from New York to Los Angeles because of what happened to Kiara's friend. This city welcomes your glittering hope and you enter one end and through the cities machine, it chews you up and spits your hope back out like a black hole trying to be found in the darkness. I wasn't sure how I could survive, let alone thrive in a city of walking Facades.
We are so pre occupied in creating a clone of ourselves, the perfect cookie cutter version that we are proud of. Is the Instagram version of us the only side of ourselves we can accept or appreciate?
Here’s a list of things to help remember and reflect on who you are:
1. Give Back or Be Real
Each week make sure at least one of your social media posts offers something back to your community or audience. Something motivational or encouraging to someone else. Because everyone is struggling but no one will show it. Try opening up, it may help you and someone else.
2. Check in with your Emotions.
Take a day off from posting a glamorous picture of yourself and check in with your emotions. Maybe you feel great and want to post, maybe you feel awful, then don't post. But if doing so will make you feel good but not define your feelings, do it. Make sure you are listening to your needs.
3. Change or Love
Change the things you have control over, that will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin and try to focus on the positives of the parts you can't change which will eventually lead to loving them.
Endlessly comparing ourselves to others and trying to out-do our social media ‘friends’ and feeling defined by the number of likes or comments you receive is no way to feel worthy. We are all in our own bubbles doing the exact same thing, therefore there is no popularity contest. Only with yourself. And in that competition you are both the winner and the loser.
I’m not particularly sure who we are trying to impress but at the end of the day we are not impressing anyone if we truly don't feel the way our social media post is portrayed.
So how do you walk beside a facade of yourself? Greet the real you and the perfect pretense version of yourself and walk hand in hand through your journey together, for better or for worse.
To learn more on KIARA HARRIS and to discover her podcasts or to find people you can relate to, visit her website here: